


To Each of Their Own

by hayffietrash



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-08-19 19:33:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 23,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8222363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hayffietrash/pseuds/hayffietrash
Summary: He wasn't expecting to leave tonight without her. He wasn't expecting Effie Trinket to be a rebel. Hayffie.





	1. Chapter 1

**Haymitch**

Not long now. If everything goes according to plan. He thought.

He would attempt to explain to her soon. Then they would have to leave. He had no doubt she would throw a fit. But he would have her on that hovercraft no matter what happens. Even if that meant knocking her out first.

He stared at the screen in the penthouse. The group was by the beach. Beetee will make sure everything goes smoothly.

Three hours at most.

His hands ached for a drink. He looked at the half finished juice in his hand. It tasted horrible. He should try to find her instead. Maybe she could distract him before they leave tonight. She was no doubt going around looking for sponsors. Not that sponsors mattered anymore.

Sometimes he wondered if she knew what was going down tonight. She wasn't the same person as she was before. Maybe she changed. Maybe he saw her differently now.

The penthouse is almost empty with everyone out partying and socialising. He should head out now to find her now. She was probably at the lounge flirting with some sponsor.

* * *

Turns out he wasn't wrong. He found her almost on a sponsor's lap with her hands on his chest. The sight hit him with a pang of jealousy. But it wasn't that uncommon of a sight and they never defined their relationship anyway. Who is he to get jealous over Effie Trinket?

This it wasn't a time to get - _jealous? Was he?_ He was here to make sure that she is going to be safe when shit goes down tonight. He walked right over to the couple on the sofa and pulled her hands away from the pink haired guy with eerily green eyes.

"Sorry, may I borrow my escort for a while?" He slurred his words, hoping the guy would believe it was just another drunken stunt.

He didn't give him a chance to reply and dragged her away. She resisted for a while whilst apologising to the male sponsor as she got forced to follow him.

"You are not drunk. What do you think you are doing?" She huffed as they got to a private corner behind the bar.

He threw his arms around her and pressed her against the wall.

"As far as the other people in the room sees me, I am." He whispered.

"What's happening?" She said softly, warm breath against his ears, making him shiver.

"Don't ask anything. Stick close to me for tonight."

He nibbled her earlobe making her moan.

* * *

They were literally stuck together for the next hour. In the penthouse. In his bed.

For a while she made him forget alcohol and whatever was coming next.

Sometimes he wondered what they were. But they were going to war and this wasn't something he should be thinking of. He didn't even know if they could make it through the night alive.

She never stayed before. She usually slip out of his room after they were done.

Maybe she was ashamed of him. He wondered if she slept with other people too. Not that he cared. This is the Capitol.

But she isn't like everyone else. _Is she?_

Now here she is snuggling against him. He could feel her eyes on him. It was something they developed after years of working together. They could always sense each other's presence in a room or when one is looking at the other. They also seem to have developed a system of communicating with their body language.

_Time to leave. Don't go for that sponsor. Too much alcohol. Save me. Almost drunk. Sex tonight._

"We should go." He said to stop himself from thinking too much. That was enough distraction for the night.

She was unusually quiet tonight. He noticed. Maybe she had a sense of what was going to happen.

They just got dressed as her communicator started to flash. Something has happened in the arena.

_That wasn't the plan._

They rushed out of to the living room to see a black screen.

"Fuck." He cursed.

"We need to go now." He grabbed her wrist and pulled her into the elevator.

She didn't ask anything on the way down. She wasn't even surprised when they met Plutarch on the way to the back door. She didn't even question them when he asked Plutarch about what happened in the arena and what their plan was.

That wasn't what he expected from her. She kept quiet until they reached their transport.

He wasn't expecting to see a black car in front of the hovercraft. _Maybe it was a transport for Plutarch's assistant._

He wasn't expecting her to stop him while they were walking towards the hovercraft. _After being so cooperative, she decides to stop him now?_

He expected her to question him, to resist going on the hovercraft, to scream at him. But she didn't.

He wasn't expecting her hand on his cheek. _No she didn't hit him._

He wasn't expecting blue eyes swimming with tears. _They looked him with so much guilt and hurt._

He wasn't expecting the tender kiss. _They never kissed like that before. It felt like the worst of the best._

_"Stay alive." He could almost hear the I love you._

He wasn't expecting her to step into the black car.

He had so many questions.

He wanted to stop her.

He wanted to throw her in the hovercraft.

But he was stunned by her actions.

He was confused. Angry. Betrayed. Shocked.

He could only watch the car drive off and disappear down a corner.

"You have your orders and she has hers. We need to go now." Plutarch's voice brought him back to reality as he tugged on his arm to get him to step into the hovercraft.

He wasn't expecting to leave tonight without her.

He wasn't expecting Effie Trinket to be a rebel.


	2. Chapter 2

** Effie **

If everything goes according to plan tonight, he would be with the children tomorrow.

How she wished she could be with him tonight. But she has to keep up with her role. She needed to act normal and try to get more sponsors for the team even though she knows it wasn’t necessary now. Not long now.

She wondered where he was. Probably back at the penthouse.

She was so proud of him when he managed to cut down on his drinking for the children. But part of her also suspected that he was preparing for Thirteen where there wouldn’t be any alcohol. It would hurt a lot lesser then.

They have spent more time together since he started drinking lesser. Maybe he needed a distraction. She didn’t mind it anyway. Sometimes she wondered if he knew what he meant to her. She wouldn’t tell him anyway. This is war and there wasn’t time for things like this.

Now she is here in the lounge attempting to flirt with a male sponsor even though it wouldn’t make a difference. It is all for a show. This was what it was all about. What her life was all about. _They just want a good show._ She could give that to them. _This was the last night anyway. Soon._

She saw him walk into the lounge and it didn’t take long for his eyes to fall on her. She always knew when he was in a room or when he was looking at her. She didn’t over and kept her eyes on the sponsor until she felt someone tug on her hands. One moment she was sitting the next she was being pulled away from the sofa. _Haymitch._ She apologised to the sponsor as she got dragged away by him.

* * *

 

"You are not drunk. What do you think you are doing?" He didn’t smell like he was drinking. She was almost glad she dragged her away. She was tired of acting.

He threw his arms around her and pressed her against the wall. It wasn’t comfortable but she would take all her remaining time with him.

"As far as the other people in the room sees me, I am." He whispered against her ear. _Was that what he wanted?_

"What's happening?" She asked innocently.  Of course she knew. She helped plan it.

"Don’t ask anything. Stick close to me for tonight."

He nibbled her earlobe making her moan. She welcomed his distraction. If this was her last night with him, maybe he could remember her better tomorrow and not hate her too much.

They spent the next hour together in his room, doing whatever they have been doing for the past few years. But tonight was different. Every day after tonight will be different. She won't see him after tonight. She stayed tonight. She didn’t leave like she always did. Tonight was the last night so she thought she might as well let herself fall in love for the last time instead of running away. She embraced his warmth for the last time. She wondered if he knew. She wondered if he loved her too. _It doesn’t matter anymore._ After tonight, he will probably hate her for lying.

She stared at his face trying to map it in her memory. His eyes. His nose. His scruff. His lips. His cheeks. She hope this wasn’t the last time she gets to see him. But if it is at least she had this memory to hold on to. 

Part of her was happy. He had wanted her to leave with him.

Part of him cared for her. Maybe she wasn’t just a distraction after all.

At least for this moment she was happy.

Part of her hoped he didn’t care at all. At least he wouldn’t hate her for leaving. At least he would hurt lesser.

* * *

 

"We need to go." He said. Just one hour till the meeting time. They should get ready to leave. She didn’t question him.

She just finished slipping on her dress and her communicator started flashing. _Something happened in the arena._

They rushed out to the living room but there was nothing but a black screen.

He swore. She didn’t bother to tell him off, she wanted to swear too.

"We should go now." She heard him say but didn’t reply. A million scenarios flashed in her mind.

She let him pull her into the elevator and through the corridor leading to the back door where their transport would be waiting. But he wouldn’t know that she had her own transport too. Plutarch joined them along the way. They acknowledged each other's presence but didn’t anything further. He promised to keep her identity a secret until they got Haymitch in the hovercraft.

This was it. They were standing in front of the hovercraft. This was goodbye.

She stopped him as he pulled her towards the hovercraft.

She touched his face for the last time. _Don’t let me forget this face._

Her vision started to blur with the tears in her eyes. _I am so sorry._

There were so much she wanted to tell him but she couldn’t.

She pressed a short kiss on his lips. _I love you._

"Stay alive." She said.

They needed to leave now. She needed to leave before she broke down.

She turned and strode into the car.

If they made it to their destinations alive, maybe they will meet again.

She leaned against the car window, watching the scenes outside.

Soon these streets will never be the same again. If they win this war, it shall never be and maybe the world will be a better place.

Her mind wandered to him. To them.

There was so much she wished she knew. There was so much she wished he knew.

But he couldn’t.

It is too late now anyway. If they make it out alive, he will find out himself.

For now, she needed to focus on her mission.


	3. Chapter 3

** Haymitch **

 

Everything was mess in the hovercraft. Shit went down after Katniss broke the arena.

They barely made it rescuing Katniss, Finnick and Beetee.

All of them were knocked out.

 

At least he had a moment of peace for now.

_Peeta. Johanna. Annie. Effie._

The girl will no doubt throw a fit when she is awake. So will Finnick.

He sighed. He wanted a drink so badly. _What was she doing?_

 

"I guess you have questions." He felt a hand on his shoulder. Plutarch.

"Am I allowed answers?" How long had he been kept in the dark?

"She made me promise not to tell you anything until we got them out. It is safer this way. For both of you."

"How long?"  
"She has been in this from the start. About a year after she became an escort."

"7 years." _7 years worth of acting. How could he have missed it._

"Around there. She is amazing. She could act, she had contacts around the Capitol and she is smart. Her grandfather was a rebel too. She didn’t know that until she joined us. In fact, if it wasn’t for her, we wouldn’t have noticed you too."

He laughed. And he thought he knew her.

"What is her mission?"

"She is to stay in the Capitol, monitor the bugs which she has been planting over the years, collect intel regarding the situation from inside and pass it to us."

"Where is she staying then? She would need equipment and I don’t suppose she kept them at home."

"Her grandfather has an apartment with an underground office where he used to work. He had kept the rent going for years. I suppose to keep his secrets inside in hopes that someone would find it and continue his work. She found it and has been preparing it for a few years. She would be safe there."

"Safe." He repeated. No one is safe in this situation. They were going to war.

"She knew what she was signing up for from the start. I hope you know too." Plutarch patted him on the back and left for the cockpit.

* * *

It wasn’t long before Finnick came through the door slightly disorientated.

"How are you feeling?" Plutarch asked standing against the mapping system in the middle of the room.

"Where are the others?" Finnick ignored the question completely.

"I am sorry. It was too chaotic and barely made it out with you guys."

"You promised me she would be safe!" One second Finnick was standing by the door and the next he was grabbing Plutarch by the collar. He rushed up and tried to pull Finnick away but his hands were sluggish and he wasn’t as fit as before.

"It was a mess back there. We had to make a decision, it was you or them. We need you. Do you want to win this or not?" So he gripped his wrist firmly and said.

That made him loosen his grip a little.

In the end, his grip grew slack and he punched the wall behind them.

"Fuck! So what is the plan now? Do we know where they are? Are we at least attempting a rescue mission?"

"Once we reach Thirteen then we will be able to connect with our contacts in the Capitol to assess the situation back there. As for a rescue mission, we have to discuss with President Coin before we can confirm anything. She wouldn’t be happy about it I can assure you." Plutarch explained.

* * *

Haymitch kept quiet this entire time. He wasn’t quite happy with the situation as well. He hoped Katniss would say unconscious until they reached Thirteen. He wasn’t in a mood to deal her inevitable outburst.

 

_Effie_ .

What else has she been keeping from him?

Effie Trinket. A rebel. Who would have thought.

He almost wanted to laugh. He didn’t realise he was until he stopped.

A rebel all along. All these years of working together and he hadn't noticed. And he thought he was sharp enough. _Apparently not enough for Effie._ Maybe he did notice some slips these recent years. But who would have put Effie and rebel together?

It made him wonder what else she was hiding from him.

Did he mean anything to her? Or was sleeping with him just a way to keep him close?

The thought of not knowing someone he thought he knew terrified him.

 

He thought he should be filled with rage. _But he wasn’t._

He was worried for her. _Maybe he did care._

_Maybe he -_

Now wasn’t a time for feelings or whatever this is.

* * *

He walked over to Finnick who was staring at the mapping system. The two stood quietly watching over the map until the door in front of them slid open. Confusion flashed over her face, then that of realization and rage.

 

Without warning, she barged towards him with a syringe in hand.

It took a bit of a struggle and Finnick to peel her off him and calm her down.

When he was sure she wasn’t going to murder him, he walked over to where she was sitting and filled her in with the plan. _Hopefully she wouldn’t kill him when she finds out that they failed to rescue Peeta._

 

She did try when she found out. Almost succeeded but luckily they sedated her in time.

_This is so fucked up. Everything is so fucked up._

 

He spent the rest of the trip sitting in a corner with his thoughts.


	4. Chapter 4

**Effie**

The ride to the apartment wasn’t long but there were a lot of turns to make sure they weren't followed. She exchanged her outfit for a black cloak as the car came to a stop in front of a random building. Taking her bags with her, she stepped out the car and retraced her steps to the apartment by the alley.

The apartment looked small and deserted from the outside. It was quite spacious actually considering the lack of excessive decors and furniture as compared to Capitol standards. She didn’t bother switching on the lights. It is safer this way. She has been here a couple of times through the years to prepare it for this - the war. 

She remember her first time discovering her grandfather's note when she was going through his stuff after he passed. She was twelve. Mother said _no Euphemia, this is a job for the servants. Besides a lady never goes through other people's belongings._ Her mother and grandfather were never on good terms. As a young girl she never understood why, but as she grew older she realised she could never get along with her mother as well.

She snuck into his room quietly the night before they threw everything out and cried her heart out as she went through all of his things. She loved her grandfather as much as he loved her. He treated her like a normal child. He told her stories when her mother lectured her about rules. He played house with her when her mother put her in corsets and heels. He taught her songs when her mother forced her to learn makeup. He gave her cuddles when her mother gave her nothing but unpleasant remarks.

She found his leather journal along with the note hidden beneath all his other belongings. It was an address with a passcode. For the first few months, she went through his journal reading his entries about his thoughts, about her and his life. She never found the courage or the chance to head to the address until she was nineteen.

It took her an entire Saturday and eventually she found this little apartment hidden behind the street. She tried knocking and eventually tried her luck with the passcode. It worked. The apartment was almost bare apart from a couch, a table, a carpet and a few boxes. It had three rooms excluding the bathroom. She went through the few boxes containing mostly random kitchenware and house decorations. She left after getting covered in dust with all the rummaging.

She went back there a few more times over the next few months. She didn’t know why but she felt closer to him there. Even though it had no trace of him at all. She slowly cleared out all the dust and gunk from the place. Then came the day when she spotted it. She was sitting on the carpets in one of the rooms when she saw it. A slit in the wooden flooring  partially covered by the carpet she was sitting on. 

The room below was filled with tons of stuff. Records, files, pictures, newspaper clippings and books. The room smelled like her grandfather. Much bigger than you can imagine. It had a bed, a sofa, shelves, a cupboard and even a bathroom.

 _He lived here?_ Perhaps he did when he was younger. Most of the stuff dated way back when before she was born. As she went through everything bit by bit over the years. She realised what her grandfather was involved in. _An underground association trying to start an uprising against the government._ But his work seemed to stop a few days after she was born. She went through all his journals and found the entry he wrote while he was here _. He was protecting her. Despite all his efforts, he couldn’t jeopardise her safety. So he stopped. But he kept this apartment and the keys in the hopes that someday someone will find it and continue his work when he couldn’t._

That was the day when Effie Trinket became a rebel.

* * *

Memories aside she walked through the house that hasn’t changed much over the years and headed into the last room where the door was hidden. As she descended down she made sure that the carpet on top fully sealed the door as she carefully closed it. Flipping the light switch on, this was the place she is going to spend possibly the her rest of her life in. Unlike the apartment, this room has changed. Over the years, she equipped it with a surveillance system, cleaned out every corner and replaced some of the furniture as they got old. Until more recent years, she knew she could only make the trip once a year to avoid suspicion. After the games last year, she packed everything she needed and brought them here. She knew the end was near.

Here, she had rations that could last her a few months, water from the bathroom and a few sets of clothes. As she set down her bag and change her clothes into more comfortable wear, she got to work. Powering up her system, the three screens on her desk came to life. On them, were live feed from dozens of bugs she planted through her years working as an escort. There wasn’t much now, but she could see people rushing around presumably because of the crash of the arena. There were peacekeepers storming through the penthouse. Luckily they got out of there in time.

Taking out her communicator she started messaging her contacts within the compound. It is amazing how invaluable her contacts are. They are people whom others trust. They roam around the halls freely unnoticed. They have the reasons to hate the Capitol as much as she does. _Avoxes._ This was how she gathered information throughout the years.

After her first round of messaging, she finally let go of a breath she didn’t know she was holding. This is it. Everything is set into motion. There is no turning back now. This is a mission she cannot fail. Taking off her clothes, she decided she should have a shower first before she reported to Thirteen. Stepping into the shower, she let the cold water flow down her body. She let her mind wander. She hoped everyone made it safely to Thirteen. She hoped they can all make it out of this alive. Although it would be almost impossible, but one can hope right?

She let her hand travel down to her stomach. _She hope at least he/she can make it out of it alive._


	5. Chapter 5

**Haymitch**

Thirteen was cold. In every sense of the word.

The people. The atmosphere. The environment.

Sometimes he wondered if the cold he was feeling from within was a result of the place rubbing off on him.

He had just arrived a few hours ago. As they stepped off the hovercraft, they were all escorted to a meeting room where they were addressed by Alma Coin, the so-called President of District Thirteen, before being shoved into their various bunks so that they could change into more _appropriate_ attire.

Now he was here sitting here in his room having a staring contest with the floor. The room was small, equipped with a double decker bunk bed, a tiny shower and a small cabinet. Everything was grey and cold. Cement and metal. He was shivering. _Is his withdrawal kicking in so quickly?_

He sat in silence waiting for the soldier who was suppose to escort him to the rehabilitation centre.  He hopes Katniss wasn’t going to cause any trouble while he was out. It will take a while before he gets all the alcohol and urges out of his system. 20 years of abusive drinking is not going to stop overnight. _He hopes he makes it out alive._

* * *

He finally makes it to the centre an hour later finding it relatively small and empty. Considering these people have been living underground for years, there weren't many people who needed rehab in this place. A middle aged female doctor came by announcing that she is the doctor in charge of his _treatment._ She was called Dr Branson or something like that, he wasn’t paying attention. She explained the various plans they were going to try for the next few weeks to help him get off alcohol as fast as possible as requested by the President. Then she led him to his prison-like room where he will be staying for as long as he needed to get through his withdrawal.

The "prison" didn’t look much different from his room. Apart from the single bed and the lack of a cabinet, the layout and bathroom looks the same. One thing that is distinctively different is that the window on the door which was accessible from the inside in the usual bunks were now only accessible from the outside. He felt like a caged animal being constantly monitored. _He felt like he was back in the arena._

This place didn’t make his withdrawal much better when he was hallucinating about being back in the games almost 24/7. Other times, his brain liked to torture him with images of his family and sometimes Effie and Peeta. It felt like his sub-conscious knew that he was self-destructive too. If he could choose between being in the games or watching his family suffer, he would rather be in the games alone. But sometimes the aimless running and being stuck in the constant loop of being killed was mentally draining. He couldn’t make out how long it has been anymore.

Everyday two soldiers would come in to get him in the cold shower and then throw him back on the bed with wet clothes. Everyday a nurse would slide a plate of food into the room which was too far to reach from his bed. Everyday he would roll down onto the floor when it became too hot then drag his blanket down when it became too cold. Everyday someone would come in to force food down his throat when they see his food untouched because resources are scarce and they weren't allowed to waste food. Everyday he would have endless dreams and hallucinations which made him forget how many days have gone by.

Everyday was living hell.

* * *

 

It came to a surprise to everyone when he made it out alive two weeks later. Maybe it was fate's way of prolonging his stay in hell.

First stop after getting out of prison - searching for Katniss to make sure she was still alive and haven't killed anyone.

He found her in the studio filming a propo with Plutarch. He stood by the door watching her cringe-worthy acting. The girl cannot act for the life of her. He finally stepped out of the shadows when Katniss finished her line.

"And that, my friends is how a revolution dies." The girl stared at him with so much disgust in her eyes.

"Hello Katniss." He tested. She kept quiet.

"Is this how you greet old friends?" He continued.

"Maybe I don’t recognize you sober." She spat.

"Well, then I guess it looks as bad as it feels." He sighed. This is going to be tougher than he thought.

She had every right to be angry at him. He broke their promise. He was angry at himself too, for being unable to rescue everyone.  But this is war and some sacrifices are required. She has to understand that. She needs to understand.

How is he going to pacify a stubborn, angry and damaged teenager?

He saw so much of himself in her.

_This was going to be a long night._

* * *

They spent the next few hours in the meeting room with President Coin and Plutarch who were quite pleased with his withdrawal progress but not the girl's. She was still not cooperating very well. He tried his best to sell the Mockingjay to the President and giving suggestions on how the propos should be shot. The meeting ended with a not very pleased President and a Mockingjay who still refuses to talk to him.

_A long night indeed._


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Everyone~ I hope there are people following this story. Sorry for disappearing for a while, assignments and exams got the better of me. And now that they are all done, I am finally back to having an actual life. So here is an update, and I promise there would be updates in the following weeks too.

**Effie**

She wanted to stay in the shower and enjoy feel of the water on her skin. It was the only place where she could breathe. _Breathe Effie. Breathe._

The thought of being stuck underground for the next few months terrified her. She was mildly claustrophobic. But she couldn’t risk being seen above ground for a while. There was no doubt that the peacekeepers are crawling all over the city bringing in anyone who could be involved in the rebellion.

By this time, they would have found the penthouse and her house empty. They would have captured the prep team and interrogated her family.

Taking a glance at the clock on the wall. 12.32am. She should probably get out of the shower to prepare for her report at 1. Grabbing her towel and wrapping it around herself, she stepped out of the shower. After getting dressed, she checked her monitors and gathered all the replies from her contacts before setting up the call to Thirteen.

* * *

It took a few minutes before she could connect to Thirteen. The connection wasn’t the best but it worked. It was a while for the connection to stabilize and they proceeded on with the report. The video wasn’t perfect but she could make out Plutarch and President Coin.

_Where is Haymitch? Why isn't he in Command with them? Is he somewhere in the room? Why isn't he joining the call? Was he mad at her? No, Haymitch wouldn’t let feelings hinder the Rebellion._

Then it hit her. _Rehab._

"Agent Trinket." Coin cleared her throat and continued. "Please proceed with your report."

That brought her out of her trance. "Uh… Yes m'am."

She followed with her report, referring to the notes she prepared. There wasn’t much to report. The Games Centre was a mess and there wasn’t anything valuable which her contacts could give. Everyone was being questioned. Apart from the obvious swarm of peacekeepers in the penthouse, the only other information she could give was that those captured were alive and locked up somewhere in the compound.

"Good job Agent. Keep us updated." With that, Coin left the room.

"Good job Effie." Plutarch smiled.

"It's my job." She hesitated before asking. "Are they okay?"

"Katniss is Katniss. She is still angry and I have been trying to talk her out of it. Haymitch just got admitted into the rehabilitation centre. President Coin wants him out of there as fast as possible. The next few weeks would probably be hard for him."

"Take care of them Plutarch."

"I will." He assured.

* * *

The next few days she spent most of the time glued to the screens taking note of any little detail she could. Most days she would fall asleep while listening in to conversations. The first few days weren’t very eventful. The initial explosion in the arena, missing victors and Capitol citizens sent the government into a frenzy. Everyone was being sent for questionings, conversations were mostly surrounding retaliation plans which were changing with every other person.

As the week draws to a close, she finally receives a message from one of contacts. A mapping device with the layout of the prisoners where Peeta and the others are held. _Jackpot._

_23BCE3_. 11pm. Area B. Building C. Exit E3.

This is was why she needed to be in the Capitol when the video streams could easily be sent to Thirteen. Contacts. Invaluable contacts all over the compound who could sneak out information and technologies for her. This would be the first time she was stepping out of her room since she arrived. Although she risked being caught, it was almost a relief. She needed space. _More space._

_Breathe Effie. Breathe._

She put on her gear and set off at approximately 10.30pm. That would give her enough time to roam around and park her car somewhere far before walking to the meeting point. Being an escort for nearly eight years, all to prepare her for this. She was familiar with every corner and exit of the compound. She knew every alley and blind spot. It didn’t take her long to reach Exit E3. If it took longer than ten minutes she would be risking exposure. If her contact is even a minute late, she is out of there.

_She wasn’t._ It was short. Lasted for less than thirty seconds. Grab and go.

She was back in her room by 11.20pm.

* * *

Carefully removing the device from her bag, she examined it slowly. This is what she risked her life for. This is what could save Peeta. _It better worked._

Finger on the power button, she closed her eyes as she pushed it on.

It flickered for a moment and the screen went black once again. She tried again with no avail. _Damn it. Flat battery! Nothing but a useless piece of metal._

She picked up her communicator to update her contact and sighed.

Tossing the device on her bed, she went back to monitoring her bugs. She should have expected it. Nothing is going to be easy. War. And this is only the start.

* * *

The following week was a blur. Every day was the same routine. Monitor. Record. Sleep. Repeat. Some days when she let herself stop to think, she longed to be with her team. She missed them. She missed the children. She missed Haymitch. She wondered if both him and Katniss is okay. She wondered what they were doing to Peeta.

This was how she coped. This is how she copes. Work. Work takes her mind off things. Things like emotions, cravings and thoughts that made her human. Things that could hinder her abilities to be useful to this rebellion.

The next weekly meeting with Thirteen is in 2 hours. She spent her time preparing all the information she has gathered through the week. _The mapping device. The failed mission. The talk of an attack on Thirteen._

It wasn’t long before she glanced up at the clock and it was time for the meeting. She rubbed her eyes and started setting up the connection. It didn’t take long this time, the video was clearer too. There were more participants this time. Four figures. Not that she bothered to make out who the other three were because she had her eyes locked on one. She brought her face closer to the screen before his name escaped her lips in a whisper. "Haymitch."


	7. Chapter 7

**Haymitch**

He didn’t know why his hands were sweating. Residual effects from his withdrawal? Or nervousness from what - seeing her the first time in two weeks? _Seeing her as a rebel?_

In the cold meeting room, he sat in a corner with Katniss. She was still angry with him but compared to Coin and Plutarch she still preferred staying close to him. It was their first time joining the weekly report meeting. He watch as Beetee set up the call as it was projected on the screen in front of them. He didn’t know what he expected to see on the screen until her face showed up. 

"Good Evening, Effie. As you can see, we have more people joining our meeting today. If you don’t mind, please proceed with your report. " Plutarch announced to the room.

She looked tired. Bags under her eyes. Hair up in a messy bun. She sat in a dimly lit room. Her face glowing from what he assumed to be an ensemble of screens in front of her. Her eyes softened as she glanced over at Katniss from time to time. She spoke in a soft voice, delivering her report of what happened throughout the week. He missed her voice. God. _He missed her._

He kept his eyes on her throughout her report trying to catch her eyes. They made a few eye contacts through out the meeting. But every time her eyes landed on his, she would look away.  After a few more attempts, he grew frustrated and gave up. If she didn’t want to acknowledge his presence then why should he.

* * *

After her report, they proceeded to their meeting. In which Plutarch explained was why Haymitch and Katniss joined the meeting today. They were running out of ideas for propos and Katniss still refuses to have a proper conversation with Haymitch. They were hoping Effie could help since she was next closest person to Katniss.

The meeting lasted for another hour before they came up with a plan for Katniss to join the others in the field. Although Coin wasn’t much convinced, Katniss's outburst shut her up. The girl had been sitting beside him quietly listening to their discussion not making any direct eye contact with anyone. A part of him was glad that she was finally spoke up. _At least it is one step closer to getting her committed to this rebellion._

He tried to keep his eyes from wandering to the screen but it kept finding its way back to her face when he wasn’t speaking to anyone. It was obvious that he was trying to avoid having to talk to her. He directed all his comments regarding her inputs towards Plutarch who seemed to be aware of what he was trying to do.

The meeting finally ended with Coin dismissing everyone to their jobs. He caught her eyes for the final time just before the screen went black.

He was looking forward to the next meeting.

* * *

His day was spent with Beetee while he was monitoring the Capitol's system to devise a method to rescue the others. Even though without a detailed map of the prison and security system this task would prove to be nearly impossible, they needed a clearer view of the interior layout. The only reason they were wasting time attempting this was because they needed a plan in case they weren't able to obtain the map and they were running out of time. Every passing moment meant they risk losing someone they love in the hands of the Capitol. Haymitch couldn’t even begin to imagine what would happen to Finnick if Annie died.

It was halfway through the day when it happened. One moment he was mid-sentence and the next every inch of him was vibrating. For a moment he thought it was a withdrawal attack but then the ringing in his ears and Beetee's facial expression told him otherwise, not to mention the flashing red light above the door. It took a few seconds for him to register the announcement broadcasted from the speakers.

Before he knew it he was out of the room along with Beetee heading towards the bunks below. Navigating through the district with a wheelchair bound man in midst of an attack was difficult not in the least. Stairs were out of the question. The lift was taking a far longer time and with the jerks every few minutes it wasn’t the safest option either. They almost made it to the bottom floor when the lift screeched to a halt. And he found himself carrying Beetee on his back running towards the closing door of the bunks. Five…. Four… Three… Two…

Just in time. He set Beetee on the ground as they watched the doors were bolted shut. Giving himself a few minutes to recover and mentally chided himself for letting his body slide with alcohol. With the help of a soldier who helped carry Beetee, they made their way to their designated bunks.

* * *

He usually clocked in an hour or two of sleep each day. But tonight, sleep was impossible. Seeing her face. Hearing her voice. The unexpected attack. Not to mention being stuck in a huge room full of scared people. The whispering, the soft cries, the shuffling was driving him crazy. He tried to block out the noise with his hands but it was useless. He looked towards Beetee who had his eyes closed on the bed next to his, he buried his face into his pillow.

Damn this woman for keeping him up at night. Damn her for showing up today. Every time he closed his eyes, he could see her face on the screen. Even though he told himself that he didn’t care, he couldn’t.

Frustrated, exhausted and on the verge of screaming his head off, he rose up and made his way through the rows to find Katniss.

* * *

Eventually he found her with her sister and the damn cat in a corner. Perhaps there wasn’t a better time to ambush her while she sat alone, watching her sister play with the cat.

This ridiculous silent treatment had to stop, they needed to talk. He walked towards her slowly, relieved that she hadn't stood up and bolted off yet.

"Katniss to win this, we are gonna have to work together. And to do that, _this_ has to stop, so you might as well get things off your chest." He said while making himself comfortable beside her.

"You promised me you would save Peeta."

"You need to stop moping around. You think I don’t want him to be here? I am trying. You think I'd don’t want to just grab a bottle and rot? I want a drink so bad that I want to distill my own turnips. But I am sober, I went through two weeks of hell to be here. And you know why? Because Peeta is still alive. And so are we."

She kept quiet so he continued.

"I am trying my best to come up with a plan to convince Coin to go for a rescue mission. And she is giving everyone hell. I know this is the last place you want to be and everyone wants a piece of you. But we are in this together. We have no one else in this hellhole apart from Finnick and Beetee. To get through this, we need to stay together. Okay?"

They stared at each other for a few moments before she finally let out a soft "okay".

"Good. You should probably get some rest." With that, he left. _At least that was one thing off his chest._


	8. Chapter 8

** Effie **

She tried to avoid him through the entire meeting. She didn’t want to see the betrayal in his eyes. She didn’t want to lose herself in his eyes. She could feel his eyes tracing her every movement while she gave her report. She did her best to not look at him; each time her eyes caught his, she would bring eyes back to her report in her hands.

 

After twenty agonizing minutes, she finally finished her report. When she thought this was going to be over soon, Plutarch explained the reason why Haymitch and Katniss joined the meeting was to discuss their plans for the upcoming propos. _Her priority now is Katniss and the Rebellion._ He was trying to avoid talking to her too. He directed all his comments regarding her ideas to the others in the room. _Well, two can play this. At least it was obvious that both of them were avoiding each other, this wouldn’t be that hard._ It lasted for another hour before the meeting finally ended. She took one last glance at him before she ended the video.

* * *

She couldn’t sleep that night. She laid on her bed for an hour tossing around before giving up. Every time she tried to shut her mind off, her mind wandered to him. All she could think of was him. _Haymitch_.  His eyes, his arms around her, his stubble nuzzling against her skin. She wondered if he was missing her too. She pictured him in Thirteen, trying to imagine what he would be doing. He was safe. He survived his withdrawal. This avoidance would help him get over her. If she dies here, he wouldn’t hurt so bad.

 

That was when her communicator went off.

* * *

_Attack on Thirteen._

She felt bile rose up her throat as she rushed to the toilet and emptied her stomach. A message she never wanted to see but she expected it. It was bound to happen. But she never expected it to be so soon. There were no signs that today was the day.

 

She rested her head against the cold ceramic cover and flushed the toilet. As much as she wanted to make contact with Thirteen to check on their status, she knew they would be too occupied with the attack. After a few minutes, she got up and brushed her teeth. Looking into the mirror, she could see her bloodshot eyes and tear stained cheeks. Gathering her hair up into a messy bun, she splashed her face with cold water.

 

Sleep was impossible now.

 

No use worrying about them now until all this was over. Might as well stay up while she wait for any updates.

* * *

She glued herself to the screens for the whole night. Occasionally, she would catch an update regarding the attack. It was almost nine when fatigue finally caught up with her. She slept through the day and woke up at in the evening to continue her routine. The updates she got didn’t reveal much about the attack, just that it has been going on for almost 20 hours and there is no indication that it would stop anytime soon. This meant two things: this could last a few days and they were not trying to wipe out the district or they did not know what they were hitting.

 

It was nearly four days before the reports of attacks started to die down. She barely clocked in two hours of sleep each day since the attack started. Each time she woke up from her nightmares covered in sweat, out of breath. She spent every single moment she had awake recording and listening back to every conversation to try to catch any indication of the Capitol's next step.

 

By the end of the day, it finally stopped. The reports stopped coming in from her contacts. She waited for a few more hours before she concluded that it had ended when the Capitol broadcasted another interview with Peeta. _Poor Peeta. What had they done to him. He wasn’t himself anymore. They need to get him out of there. The map._

Everyone had been so caught up with the attack for the past few days that she had completely forgotten to get a update from her contact regarding the mapping device. With everything that has happened in the past few days, she hoped that they could get another chance to have their hands on a working device.

* * *

Stepping into the shower, she felt all the tension she had build up in her for the past few days leave her. This was her safe heaven. Where she let herself go. Where everything else don’t matter but herself. Where she let herself catch up with her feelings. Where there isn't the rebellion to worry about. She just wanted to curl up on the floor but thinking of the last time she scrubbed the floor she ditched the idea. Compared to the icy cold water from the shower, her tears were burning their way down her cheeks.

 

Peeta is still being tortured. Who knows about Johanna and Annie. Thirteen was attacked. Katniss, Haymitch and the others were almost buried alive. And here she was helpless and useless to any of them. Maybe the rebellion was a mistake. Maybe if they didn’t -

_No. This is war and sacrifices are needed. They are still alive._

 

That was the sign to get out of the shower. When her feelings started to knock down her determination and faith. When she started feeling small.

 

_We are going to be fine._

* * *

Three days later, she finally got an update from Thirteen. Everyone was alive. The east wing was badly damaged. But they managed to transfer everyone out before it got bad. They were planning to have the rescue mission in the coming week even if it meant going in blind.

 

_She need that map fast. It was too much of a risk going in without knowing what they were dealing with._

 

She had four days before next week. If she could get it by then, they could have a better chance. Luck was on her side when she received a message from her contact two days later that they had secured another device and a meeting was scheduled. Same time, same place.

* * *

She arrived at the meeting place a few minutes late even though she memorized the surveillance routes of the guards, she had a hard time trying to avoid them on the way.

 

She waited for a while before concluding that her contact must have left when she didn't show up on time. She turned to leave when she walked into a shade of white. She felt a prick and everything faded to black.


	9. Chapter 9

 

**Haymitch**

Four days trapped in this god forsaken dungeon almost drove him crazy. He wasn’t claustrophobic but he was so close to losing it. Being trapped in an enclosed area brought up bad memories. _Bad memories._

He needed the occasional fresh air and open ground. It was the fifth day when he was finally allowed to head out above ground. Although they were headed out to film a propo, it felt good to see light again. Natural light. Fresh air. Green  A pile of red, _like blood,_  in midst of the green.

He watched Katniss slowly approach it as he followed behind. The sickening artificially sweet scent hit him before he even got a clear view of what it was. _Roses._

Settled nicely in the middle of the  grass patch as if someone has carefully placed it there was three bouquet of roses. There he stood, stunned, angered and puzzled beside Katniss when a voice broke his thoughts.

"Should we start?" Cressida said.

Katniss pried her way back into District 13 before anyone could reply leaving everyone stunned.

He watched as Katniss disappeared back underground and turned his attention back to the pile of flowers on the ground. Taking each step so cautiously as if any wrong move could trigger danger, his foot finally touched the edge of a petal.

Something was off. But he couldn’t make out what it was. He could feel everyone's eyes on him, waiting for him to speak. He lifted his foot and gently crushed the rose nearest to him. Feeling it disintegrate beneath his boots, staining the grass red.

He almost knew what it meant. _Almost. Why three?_

* * *

It has been a week since Effie's last report. It was almost time for their scheduled meeting again. 

Deep down he was - what was he feeling exactly? Longing to see her?

He should probably be looking for Katniss, but the girl had vanished since she saw the roses. It has almost been two hours. He tried searching all the common places where she used to hide with no avail.

Giving up, he decided that she would show up when she wanted to be found. He should spend his time doing something more than searching for someone who didn’t want to be found. Checking his wrist, he had an hour before the scheduled meeting, he could meet Beetee to continue planning for the rescue.

* * *

 

He found Finnick in the room with Beetee already discussing about their plans.

"Have you found her?" Finnick asked as he grabbed a seat beside them.

"No." "Where are we on the rescue?" He asked, wiping a hand across his face.

"I just got here."

"There is still no way for us to know the complete layout of where they are kept. Unless Effie can get us the mapping device soon, we can only assess the situation when we get in. The best I can do is disabling their surveillance from the inside. I tried mapping the place with the surveillance footage I have but I haven't got very far. They don’t have any cameras down in the deeper levels where I assume is where they are keeping them. Other than that there is nothing more I can do." Beetee said.

"Coin wouldn’t give us anyone if we plan on going in blind." Haymitch sighed.

"We are running out of time. I would volunteer if no one goes. Katniss would. I bet that Hawthorne guy would too." Finnick said.

"What are the three of you gonna do?" Haymitch paused. "We have another hour before the meeting with Effie. Then we will know if she has the device. If she doesn’t, we need another plan. Maybe a distraction from the outside. Draw their attention away from the prison. That gives us more time to navigate through. "

"Bring out the area map again. Let's see what we have." Finnick suggested.

* * *

They were at it for a little over an hour when they realised they were late for the meeting. But they were making good progress. At least now they had a rough map and plan on how to rescue the others. It wasn’t the best there was but it was the best they could do with what they had if Effie didn’t get the device.

They rushed to the meeting room to find everyone waiting for them. Katniss included.

But the screen was still black. Effie hadn't made contact yet. It was unlike her to be late. Checking the clock again, she was almost fifteen minutes late. _That's odd. Surely the meeting wasn’t over._

"Sorry, we were caught up discussing about the rescue mission." Finnick apologised to the room.

"Have a seat soldiers." Coin said, nodding towards the seats.

"Did we miss anything?" Beetee asked.

"Effie hasn’t made contact yet. And Katniss." Plutarch paused as he looked over to the President and back at the group. "Katniss _suggested_ that we have the rescue mission tomorrow."

"We have a plan." Finnick added, looking over at Coin.

"We will hear about it after Effie's report." She said.

"Where is she? She is never late." Haymitch asked.

"No idea. It _is_ unlike her to be late. She hasn’t made contact since the last meeting. Maybe she is caught up in something. We should wait a little longer." Plutarch replied.

* * *

Everyone sat in silence, lost in their own thoughts. It was almost twenty minutes later when they all decided that Effie wasn’t going to show up.

_Why was she late?_

There weren't much time to ponder over that when Katniss and Finnick swept them into an intense meeting about the rescue mission for the next two hours.

* * *

"We need to have it tomorrow or within the next two days." He remembered her saying as he laid in his bed. "The roses. They were a message from Snow. He is going to kill Peeta. We need to get to him before he does."

"I don’t care. I am going if you are not risking your soldiers. Finnick will come too."

"Beetee, Haymitch and I have a plan. We can do it even without the device." Finnick explained. Beetee and him too.

"We are running out of time. We are going to do it even if you don’t approve of it. We don’t need your people, just maybe a hovercraft and a pilot. We could do the rest." Finnick argued before Coin could even reject the idea.

"I am not risking the life of the Mockingjay." She said calmly. "I am going." Katniss retorted. "No you are not. I could give a few of my soldiers but you are definitely not going."

"So it is settled then, tomorrow." Finnick said eagerly.

"If we could get everything prepared in time, then yes you may proceed with the mission tomorrow."

With that the meeting ended, now he was lying on his bed staring at the ceiling above. Something felt off. He knew something was off. But he just… He just couldn’t put his finger on what it was. Where was Effie? Surely she would send a message if she was caught up in something. She wouldn’t miss a meeting without informing anyone. _It was rude._

He closed his eyes. Maybe it was just him overthinking. He should caught a few hours of sleep, it was going to be a long day with everyone preparing for the rescue.

Then it hit him.

_The roses. They were a message from Snow. One for Katniss. One for Finnick. The last one..._


	10. Chapter 10

**Effie**

_Heavy_. Something or someone is pressing on her entire body.

 _Heavy_. She couldn’t breathe.

 _Heavy_. She couldn’t move.

 _Heavy_. She couldn’t open her eyes.

 _Heavy_. That was all she felt.

 _I need to wake up._  She thought.

_I just need to-_

* * *

"Hey!" Someone was shouting at a distance.

"Hey!" He was closer now.

"Okay then." The voice said. She felt a prick on her arm.

"HEY!" And she never felt more awake.

Her eyes wide open. She was gasping. It was bright and someone was in front of her.

 

She blinked. Once. Twice.

White. Very white. Her eyes slowly focused. And she took in everything in this very white place.

"Good." The voice spoke. She looked over. He was beside her now.

Brunette hair. Short. Hazel eyes. Icy. Small lips. Chapped. He was in a peacekeeper suit. Behind him was - _nothing._ This place was so white, you never know where the room ends.

 

It was making her sick. So she closed her eyes and looked down. She was cuffed to a chair. The electronic cuff digging uncomfortably into her wrists and ankles.

"Hi." He said. "Nice to finally meet you, Miss Trinket."

Her eyes remained on her lap trying to make out what happened.

"I SAID HI!" He grabbed her cheeks and turned her head towards him.

His voice rang in her ears. His eyes met hers and she stared into them defiantly.

"Lets get to know each other better." He smirked. His face inches away from hers and his hands still on her face. So close, she could feel his minty breath against her skin.

* * *

After what feels like forever of him talking and her just staring into the nothingness behind him, the first blow struck.

She could feel blood trickling down her neck. She was bleeding. She could feel the split as she licked her lips. She was so thirsty that she welcome the little moisture her own blood provided. She wanted to laugh but it came out as choke. She swallowed the little moisture she could, tasting the mixture of blood and saliva as it moved slowly down her throat. It hurt.

"Lets try something else then." He walked away from her towards the whiteness behind him.

"How about a familiar face?" He reached out into the white that never seems to end and a glowing pad appeared.

 _That is where the room ends._ She thought.

Punching in a series of commands, _the wall_ (she assumed) next to the him started to ripple and fade, revealing a sheet of black which wasn’t there before. It was probably glass because she could see her own reflection through it. She was still in her black suit, her hair tied back though slightly messy.

"How about we come a little closer." He said as he dragged her chair closer towards the black panel.

Just a few feet away from the panel. There she could see her cracked lip, the dried blood on her neck and the bags under her eyes. She just sat there watching her reflection. After a few moments of silence, the panel was flooded with light. There in a middle of dark room sat a person similarly chained to a white chair. It took a moment for her mind to register before his name fell out of her lips.

"Peeta."

The man smiled.

* * *

"Lets start." Her interrogator spoke again. "Okay this is how this works."

"I ask you a question and you answer them. Simple?"

There was no need to ask what would happen if she didn’t.

"No answer? Okay then."

With a press of a button, Peeta was convulsing in pain. The walls must be sound proof because she couldn’t hear him. She tried to find his eyes but she realised he couldn’t see her. His face was red. He was sweating. She could see him breathing heavily as whatever was hurting him slowly worn off.

"Who else were you working with?" She remained quiet.

 _I am sorry._ She apologised.

Another wave of pain flashed across Peeta's face.

"What are your orders?"

 _I am sorry._ Her eyes welling up with tears.

 

Peeta clawed against the cuffs on his wrists till she could see blood dripping down his fingers.

  
"Lets take this up a notch."

He punched in another code and Peeta's screams filled the room.

"Okay. Let me ask you again. What are your orders?"

 

Her eyes remained on Peeta. Hoping that she could take away all the pain he was feeling.

There was a few moments of heavy breathing and he started screaming again.

_I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry._

"WHAT ARE YOUR ORDERS?" He barked.

Still, she remained silent.

Peeta was sobbing now. His voice was hoarse from all the screaming. His face red and stained with tears. The white chair stained with his blood.

"Fine. Lets try something else tomorrow. But before we go how about we show our friend who caused all the pain he has been going through for the past hour?"

He interrogator walked over to the panel again and punched in another code.

"Hi Peeta. So glad that you can join us today. It was rude of us to leave you in the room alone. But I think it is time for you to meet my new friend. I am so sorry for everything you have been through. But it seems that Miss Trinket here had no problem with watching you suffer alone while we were having our conversation just now."

"Effie." Peeta whispered.

* * *

They put her in another white room. Alone. Three spotless white walls and a force field on the fourth. _She knew that because they activated it when they brought her in._ There was absolutely nothing in the room. Across her cell was an empty cell identical to hers.

Despite feeling wide awake from the adrenaline that was given to her previously, her head still felt fuzzy from the punch earlier. She paced around the room assessing where it ended and finally settled in one corner with her head against the wall.

Thoughts ran through her mind. _What they did to Peeta. Whether he was okay. Whether the others were kept in the same level. Whether she jeopardized the entire rescue mission._

It was awfully quiet apart from the constant hum from the force field and her voice in her mind. Either she was alone on the level or the walls were sound proof like the ones in the interrogation room.

_It is just you and me now._

Her thoughts kept her occupied until she drifted into a light sleep with her hands wrapped around her torso.

* * *

An hour or two later some muffled noise woke her up.

It sounded like someone screaming. Soft, distant but definitely there and it was slowly getting louder.

She rubbed the sleep away from her eyes and focused on the sound. She couldn’t make out where it was coming from or whether it was just all in her head. It echoed through her ears like she was listening it through her headphones.

It was definitely getting louder. Then she saw it.

Two peacekeepers dragging someone into the cell opposite hers. Probably a woman judging by the screams. She was dressed in a white overall which hung off her frame. Her hair unevenly cut and with some parts looking like they were burnt off. She was struggling against the grip of the two men holding her.

They threw her on the ground and turned to leave when Effie saw her spring up with her arm around one of the peacekeeper's neck. That was when she saw her face. _Johanna._ Her eyes instantly widen with recognition. She held her breath as she watched the other peacekeeper reached out for a device on his belt while the other was struggling to keep Johanna off. He shocked her on the neck and she fell like a rag doll onto the peacekeeper. He threw her off his shoulders before throwing a few kicks to her side.

Staring at the scene before her. It took her a few minutes before realizing the peacekeepers were gone.

The poor girl was lying on her side, her face bruised and bleeding from several cuts, her left arm missing a patch of skin.

All Effie wanted to do was go over and cradle her in her arms. It hurt to see the people she cared about getting hurt. It was worse when it was her fault they were hurting. First Peeta and  now Johanna. It pained her so much that it physically hurt.

All she could do was to sit in her cell and watch Johanna from afar. She was still breathing as far as Effie could tell from the rise and fall of her chest. It was labored but at least she was still breathing.

_Breathing is good. Breathing is alive. Alive is good._

At least they were all alive.

That was all she could hope for.


	11. Chapter 11

**Haymitch**

He wasn’t allowed on the ride into the Capitol. He tried to fight his way through but he ended up here in solitary. They have given him a time out till the rescue mission was over. 

Finnick and Gale were on the plane along with a few soldiers. Katniss is probably in her room. They tried to sneak into the hovercraft when they were caught by two soldiers. They tried to wrestle their way through which obviously wasn’t a good idea. They next thing they knew, they were whisked away back to their rooms and locked in until the others got back. _Pure stupidity._

She was on his list. Hell, she was on Finnick's and Katniss's list. They had to get her back.

_"Get her back." He whispered to Finnick after they finished going through the plan for the fifth time that night._

_"The roses. They were for you too." Finnick looked over._

_He rubbed his face with his palms and let them fall to the table._

_"She is on my list. After Annie and Peeta. She is on my list."_

_"Thank you." He sighed._

* * *

He laid on his bed for what felt like hours. Staring at the ceiling. His mind just wouldn’t shut down. Times like this he wished he had his hands on a bottle of whiskey.

He looked over at the clock. It has only been twenty minutes since their departure. 

His eyes wandered to the rest of the room. Just a small table, a chair and a metal cabinet for all his clothes. He wanted to hit something. _No._

He let all the different scenarios play in his mind over and over and over again.

Her laying on the ground, bleeding and dead. Her being tortured and screaming till her voice was hoarse. Them slicing her skin open with blades so sharp they could cut bones like paper. Or they could burn her alive like they did with his family. Or they could poison her and she could be dead already.

"DAMN IT!" It was all his fault. If only they were more careful. If only he kept his hands to himself. If only he got her here with him in the first place. If only…

He got out of bed and kicked the chair away from the table.

His foot throbbed but it didn’t matter. The pain felt good.

* * *

For the next hour, he destroyed everything in his room. The chair had its severed leg wedged under the cabinet. The table was dented on one side and lying on the floor. The floor and walls had scratches all over them. His knuckles were bruised and bleeding. He was sweating all over.

Calming himself down, he went to the sink and started inhaling water like it was the only thing keeping him alive. He drank till he was choking and he finally turned the water off. Still coughing, he leaned his head against the cool metal sink.

He stepped into the shower with all his clothes on and let the steady stream of water drench his whole body. The ice cold water felt warm against his burning body. He let the water run till it stopped. The daily limit of five minutes was up. His eyes were sore. His clothes were weighing him down, his shoes were filled with water. He slide down against the wall and sat there, exhausted. 

Everything was exhausting these days. Dealing with the war, dealing with Katniss, dealing with Coin, worrying about Peeta, worrying about Effie and everyone else who were captured. He hasn’t slept in forever. Every time he close his eyes, the nightmares flash across his mind. It used to be bearable with the alcohol. Now, it was all so exhausting. So he sat there. And for a moment, he allowed himself to feel.

* * *

He was there for quite a while, his skin was dry and goose bumps were forming. Then he heard the knocking on his door and a code unlocking the door.

He darted out of the shower as fast as he could and met face-to-face with Plutarch.

"They are back. They are being sent to the medical wing now."

He nudged him out of the way and sprinted out of the door. His shoes squishing beneath him, leaving wet footprints in his trail. It must be late now because there were almost no one in the corridors. But it weren't the case on the medical wing. It was bustling with nurses and doctors and _people on gurneys._

He watched from a corner, panting, eyes darting to each corner of the floor. There were people barking orders, calling out medical terms, transferring people from the hovercraft onto the beds set out across the floor. 

Then he saw Finnick with Annie. Several nurses pushing her in while Finnick held on tightly to her hand. He wanted to go over and ask him how everything went but he didn’t want to interrupt them. So he stood there, staring in the direction of where they came from and hoped. Hoping she would come through those doors.

* * *

As the chaos slowly died down, he was starting to lose hope. He didn’t realise he was shaking until he felt a towel being wrapped around his shoulders. He jumped and turned around so fast, he almost hit the nurse who dropped the towel on the ground.

"I am sorry I scared you but you are gonna catch a cold like that." She said picking the towel up and handed it to him.

"Thank you." He nodded and she left.

Katniss went to Peeta as soon as she got there. Finnick as far as he knew never left Annie's side. He was by Johanna's side when a sole nurse rolled in one more gurney. His eyes trailed them till he saw her face.


	12. Chapter 12

**Effie**

"M'am, can you tell me what hurts?" A lady was shouting.

Numbness.

The things that they have been doing to her non-stop for the past few days had her entire nervous system fried. It was like her body wasn’t hers.

She was moving. Or people were moving around her. It was difficult to see. She blinked a few times to clear her vision.

"Can you hear me?" The lady asked again.

"She's bleeding and disoriented." She could make out a few shadows standing around her.

"Okay. Give her a full workup, find out where she is bleeding from and start transfusion, she is losing too much blood." A new voice replied.

She tried to speak but her mouth just won't budge. Then she felt a light pressure on her arm and everything faded out again.

* * *

The next time she woke up, she was alone in a dark room. 

There was light seeping through the blinds, she could making out people walking by as their shadows passed the window. There were tubes coming out from under the blanket covering most of her body. The monitor by her bed was emitting an eerie glow along with its constant beeping.

There was a moment of confusion. It took her brain a few moments to register then it all came back.

_There was some commotion, some loud banging but she couldn’t make out whether it was just her heartbeat in her ears or it was real._

_She was strapped onto the chair with several leather straps. They were so tight that each time she move, it would cut into her skin. Not that it mattered cause her entire body was in pain. She was so banged up that she couldn’t even open her eyes properly._

_She didn’t see them coming in, but she felt the straps being cut through and she fell forward. Someone caught her._

_She vaguely remembered the ride to the hospital, the grey insides of a hovercraft, the low humming reverberating through its belly. She remembered being pushed and being assaulted by a bright light and people barking at each other around her. She remembered someone saying she was bleeding._

_And then the rest was a blur._

She was in Thirteen that much she could make out.

She winced as she brought her arm up to her torso. She let out the breath she was holding and let her tears fall.

_Everything hurts. It hurts more than the shocks she have been through. It hurts more than the cuts and bruises on her arm. It hurts more than anything._

* * *

Her first visitor after the doctor left was Finnick. She was absorbing the news of her current condition when the door creaked open. 

"Hey." He said in a soft voice, his lips curved up into his signature smile. "I saw the doctor leave your room and I figured you must have woken up."

Her eyes watered when she saw him, if she wasn’t attached to a dozen tubes and wires she probably would have ran up to him.

"How are you feeling?" He asked as he embraced her.

She buried her face in his shoulder and let out a sob.

They sat there for almost a half hour as Finnick filled her in with everything that has happened and her constantly trying to avoid his question of how she was feeling. A part of her was genuinely concerned about how the entire operation went through after she got caught and another part of her just wanted some distraction. _How he is doing? How is Annie? How is Peeta? How is Johanna? How is Katniss and Haymitch? How they managed to go through with the rescue? How is everything except for herself._  It wasn't until she ran out of questions to ask and the conversation fell short when Finnick asked her again and she broke.

* * *

"I don't even know why I am crying." She whispered. 

"It's okay." He stroked her hair softly. "It's okay to let it all out."

"They said this shouldn’t be possible but it happened anyway. I wasn’t expecting - I mean with everything that they have done to me. I didn’t think but - " She snuggled towards him. "You know this isn't the first time. And I am me and Haymitch is Haymitch. Plus this isn't really the perfect time to be having a child."

"I know." He nodded as he wiped her tears off with the edge of her blanket.

They remained in that position with him stroking her hair until she told him to leave for Annie. He pressed a kiss against her forehead as he stood up. He was almost out of the door when he turned back to her and said, "You will make a great mother, Effie."


	13. Chapter 13

 

** Haymitch **

All day he has been moving from one seat to another. It was almost like he is playing musical chairs with himself. From the meeting room to Katniss's room to Johanna's bedside. No. Not one has he been to Effie's room. The closest he got was staring at her door all day from Johanna's bed.

He had seen nurses coming in and out once in a while. Then a doctor. Finnick shot him a glance as he headed towards her room. That boy hasn’t left Annie's bedside since they returned. Their eyes met for a second and he turned his head back to Johanna. Everyone was slowly regaining consciousness from their sedation. She was the last one after Effie. Everyone was alive and awake but Jo. They said she had suffered a substantial amount of head trauma and they can never tell when she will wake up. It could be a day, a month or a year. It all depends on her brain's healing process. _The toughest always gets it the hardest._ He thought. The more she fought back, they hit her harder.

He had hoped Jo would wake up this instance so he can stop focusing on the door in front of him and what was behind it. Part of him wished that he had dragged her along that day even though he knew she had her own orders. Part of him hated himself for even getting involved with her in the first place. Then part of him hated himself for not having the guts to face her. Behind that door was the woman with the battered body he saw earlier. The woman he fought hard to get here. The woman he was involved with for the better part of the past eight years. The woman he never knew he was fighting along with for the past year and a half.

There was so much blood. You never know how much blood one person has until you actually see it. You never imagined that such a small person can bleed so much. The first thought that crossed his mind when he saw her coming through those doors was that she was going to die. And now she was alive, in the room across him and awake. Everything felt so surreal and he really should go see her. But he would never know what to say. Through his life, he had never been in a situation like this before. Everyone he knew long enough to care about never came back. His parents, his little brother and his girlfriend. Even his best friend. What was he supposed to do? How should he react?

* * *

He was having his dinner when Finnick dropped his tray beside him. "Annie told me to come get some food." He sighed. "Even though they are all here and safe, I still have no appetite."

He continued eating and Finnick continued. "Effie is awake you know?" He nodded. "Have you been to seen her?" "No."

"She needs you." He kept quiet. "You fought so hard to get her back and now you are just - ignoring her?" "Annie had to force me to get dinner and even now my entire body wants me to get back to her side to make sure that the past day hasn’t been a dream and she is really here safe with me. And you are just sitting here ignoring the woman whom you love who loves you?"

"I don’t know what to do." He finally said. "Peeta is messed up, Jo is still unconscious, Coin wants to discuss the next steps and Effie - Effie is awake."

"You go in and you sit with her. Because even if you don’t admit it, you need each other."

With that, silence fell upon them and they both quietly finished their food.

* * *

Finnick headed back to Annie once they stepped into the hospital. Jo was still out. It was late and there were much less people in the hospital at that time. He looked over to Effie's room. The lights were out. _She must be asleep._ Every cell in his body wanted to see her even his brain said no. The next thing he knew, he had one hand around the door handle. With a deep breath, he pushed and the door opened.

He waited for a moment before stepping in. He lifted his eyes to find her blue eyes staring back at him. She was awake. Even with the lights out, he could make out tears in them.

"Haymitch." She whispered. Sending chills down his spine as he stood rooted to the ground.


	14. Chapter 14

** Effie **

She stayed alone in her room the entire day. People came in and out of her room. Nurses, doctors, soldiers, occasional visits from Finnick, even Plutarch came to visit once. But none of them were who she wanted to see most. She didn’t blame him of course, considering how they parted and him being too emotionally stunned to admit his feelings. But still she thought… Well what she thinks doesn’t matter. At least everyone is safe and together in Thirteen now, everything else can sort itself out.

With people coming in to check in on her almost every hour during the day, it felt good to finally have some alone time. You would think that being confined to bed meant that you would have all the time to yourself. Everyone needed something from her at some point during the day, except perhaps Finnick, who is as sweet as ever. Nurses needed to change her dressings and bring her food, doctors needed to check her vitals, soldiers needed her account of what happened which took most of her day and Plutarch needed more information on her bugs so that he could try to get Beetee to contact them from Thirteen.

* * *

And now, as the day slowly comes to an end, she is finally left alone with her thoughts. The nurse who came in after dinner switched off the lights before she left. So after two days of _not_ feeling, she finally succumbed to her emotions. She watched her heartbeat on the monitor as she felt a wave of relief wash over. Each beat of her heart synchronised with every blink as she tried to blink away her tears. Slowly her vision blurred, until the dam broke and tears streamed down her cheeks, staining her pillow. _She is alive. Everyone is alive._

It must have been a while since the tears gathering on her pillow is becoming slightly uncomfortable. _Hormones. She thought._ She shifted a little and tried to wipe some off with her blanket when she heard a click behind her and her body stilled out of instinct. It took her a second to realise that she wasn’t going to be in any danger. It was probably the nurse or doctor again. She tried to clean the stains off her cheeks as she turned over slowly, wincing at the slight discomfort of her wounds.

Her breath hitched when she found his grey eyes looking at her. He looked almost as stunned as she was. "Haymitch." She said as she let out the breathe she didn’t know she was holding. They stayed there staring at each other for what felt like hours. "I… I… I should go." he stammered before turning for the door.

"Please." Her voice cracking from all the crying. But he was out of the room already. She sighed, closing her eyes, feeling the slight burn from her abused tear ducts. _Well, at least she saw him. At least he tried and that was a start for Haymitch._

She watched her windows as his shadow still remained for a while before fading away into the distance.

* * *

She must have fallen asleep at some point because the next thing she knew was her being back in the room where they were trying to drown her. She struggled against the arm which what pushing her further into the water before she finally embraced the water and feeling it burn as it entered her lungs. Then she felt a yank as the arm pulled her head out and she woke up.

She couldn’t have been asleep for long because her brain feels alert and in overdrive as she tried to calm her breathing. But what she saw from the corner of her eye almost made her jump.

There he was sitting on the chair by her bedside with his eyes closed. He must have come in after she fell asleep. Looking over at the clock, it was 3.46am. He must not have been here for long considering she had been asleep for less than 4 hours and he would have wait till she was really sleeping before setting foot in her room again.

And so she watched him sleep for the next hour or so. Making notes of all the little details. His facial hair was out of control in the extreme. His beanie was dirty and she figured his hair under that would be no different. His forehead was scrunched up even in his sleep. He let out a soft snore every so often. The bags under his eyes looked like they were tattooed on. There was a new scar above his eyebrow. His lips were so chapped that you could see dried blood on areas where the skin had been broken several times.

It felt so calming to watch his chest rise and fall, as her breathing matched his. She was feeling her eyelids grow heavy before he stirred and for the second time that night, she was staring at those grey eyes again.


	15. Chapter 15

** Haymitch **

_ _Say something_ . _ He thought. There were so many things he wanted to say but at that moment, words failed. _ Say something damn it! _ _Because his words fail all the time. Instincts told him to bolt and so he did._

It was the guilt he thought. The guilt of not visiting her the past few days. The guilt of knowing that he was probably the reason why she was in this state. The guilt of not knowing how to react in situations like that. Because he never had people come back to him alive. _The people he loved and cared for died_. So what was he supposed to do? _ What do you say to them when they actually come back? I am sorry for all the pain I caused? _

At this point he wasn't even trying to convince himself that he didn't care about her, because he did. And she had been all he could think about the past few weeks. But seeing her here, seeing the tears in her eyes, in that moment, he panicked - _ _which was absolutely stupid, he thought_ . _

* * *

He waited for two hours before heading back again. _ Let's try again. _ She was asleep when he went in the second time that night. He sat down quietly by her bedside and carefully studied her while she slept. Her steady breathing and the soft beeping of the heart monitor proved that she was indeed alive. _ She is really here .  _ She looks thinner than she has ever been. Her eyelashes were still wet from her tears. It aches him to see that she cried herself to sleep. There were cuts and bruises all over her arms. Even one he spotted behind her neck. _ First came the pain, then came the rage. The rage to find whoever did this and end him with his own hands.  _ It took so much for him not to reach over and touch her. She looked so peaceful asleep.

He looked over at his schedule and figured he could squeeze in a power nap before the next meeting. He stretched out his legs and made himself comfortable on the chair before shutting his eyes.

* * *

He woke up to see her looking at him. _ Shit. Okay wait. This time he should actually say something. _

She blinked, looking him intently as if any sudden movement would scare him off again. He watched her quietly, thinking of what to say. And at last he settled with "Hey".

"Hey." She replied softly, her lips curving up ever so slightly.

He paused, contemplating his next line. "How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Alive. You?"

"Alive." He nodded as he scooted closer to her, placing his hand on her bed feeling the warmth radiating from her body. _ _This isn't a dream._ _

They stayed there watching each other in silence, hands barely touching, both waiting for something to happen. This time she took the first step, covering his hand with hers. _ This feels good. Whatever it is, this feels right. _ There wasn't any words needed. It was like he finally found what he needed. And so they just remained there, enjoying each other's company for a while when there was a knock on the door.

They both turned their heads towards the door, as a nurse entered the room.

"Good morning." She announced. A flick of a switch and light flooded the room.

"Fuck." He immediately shut his eyes to shield them from the light, blinking a few times to adjust to the lighting.

"It is time to change your dressings and take your meds." The nurse said to Effie as she walked over to the other side of the bed.

"I should go." He withdrew his hand from under hers and looked over at her again to take her in once more before leaving the room.

_Well that was a start._

* * *

Later in the day, Finnick shot him a glance as they crossed paths while he was heading for lunch as if acknowledging him for taking the first step.

Maybe he should check in on her again after lunch. And this time he wouldn't worry so much about talking.


	16. Chapter 16

** Effie **

As much as it hurts to move, she was dying of boredom being trapped in her room. The doctor had her on bedrest for a week now, she was starting to wonder if she just didn’t trust her or whether she really needed the rest. Haymitch came to visit a few times although they don’t talk much since he usually came in when she is asleep. He needed more time, and he is taking baby steps. _That’s progress._ She needed time too. There are things that she didn’t know how to say and that’s the least of their worries now. She _needed_ to get out, she wanted to help with the rebellion.

So one day she found herself ripping out the tubes connected to her after the nurse left the room, and she slowly hopped off her bed wincing slightly as her bruises ached. Stumbling a little as she found her balance, days of not walking did that to you, she shuffled to the door. Peeking through the window to make sure no one would see her sneaking out, she bolted out of her room and into a random hallway.

It was stupid considering she had no idea where she was going. She had absolutely no clue how to navigate through this maze of a district. No map, no orientation, nothing. The only smart thing about her plan was that it was at night, where there were less people wandering the halls. _Still better than being stuck in the room._ She thought. It was no surprise that a few turns later, she ended up in the same place. _Okay next time you see a flight of stairs, take it._

* * *

The stairs were a torture. Every step down sent a jolt of pain through her body. _This was probably why she wasn't allowed out of bed._ She finally made it to the level below when she heard footsteps coming towards her. Trying to act as normal as possible, she continued down the opposite hallway when she heard her name. _Finnick._ She turned around just as he reached her. 

"What are you doing here? You are not supposed to be out of bed." His voice filled with concern.

"I couldn’t stay in bed for another minute, I want to help. And I got lost because I have no idea how to navigate through this maze."

"Let's go back to your room."

"No, I want to help. I need to know what is happening out there. I was out there. I can help!" Her voice raising a few decibels.

"I just came from Command. We've just finished our meeting, there is nothing much that you can do now. You have already told us everything you know. You need to rest, I can fill you in on what is happening. Come on." He tugged on her arm slightly.

She complied and let him steer them towards the stairs.

* * *

She let Finnick carry her back into the room while a very disgruntled nurse came in to hook her back up to her IV and machines. He started to fill her in after the nurse left. They were in the homestretch, with all the intel they have gathered so far, they were going in with the last part of the plan in two days. If all goes as planned, everything will end in less than a week.

"Thank you." She smiled.

He acknowledged with a smile of his own. "Have you told Haymitch?"

"No. It is not the time." She replied guiltily.

He sighed and looked at her understandingly. "Yeah. Maybe after everything."

She nodded.

He sat there with her chatting until Haymitch came in and he left for Annie.

* * *

 "What were you thinking? Sneaking out like that. You are on bedrest for a reason." He questioned.

"Staying in this room is driving me crazy and I want to help. I have a hand in this rebellion too. I can't just stay here all day while you guys are in Command. I have been on this for years, I can't just stay here and do nothing." She countered.

"You are not fully healed yet. And there is nothing you can do to help in this state. You should rest." He sighed as he sat down beside her.

"I have been resting for a week now. I want to know things, I want to be involved in things. I want to have a say in the decisions you guys make in the room." She sat up a little straighter.

"We finalised our plans just now. It is all down to execution now. There is nothing for you to worry about now."

" Yeah, Finnick told me. This is why I should have gotten out of bed sooner-" Her breath hitched as he laid his hand over hers resting on her middle. She laced their fingers together and brought it back down to the bed.

"No! You are going to stay here until you are fully healed. I will update you as frequently as I can." He snapped. " _Please_. There is enough crap for me to worry about already."  

The longest conversation they have had all week had to be a fight.

 _He cares._ "Okay." She untangled her hand from his and brought it up to stroke his hair.

* * *

It was a surprise the next morning when the nurse came in with a wheelchair, declaring that she was allowed to roam the hospital wing if she stayed on the chair and returned to her room for her medication, check-ups and meals. 

She smiled as she rolled herself out of her room.

She spent the entire day outside bouncing from room to room. It felt great to not be chained to her bed the entire day. Just a few more days and everything will change, she is going to cherish every moment she had before shit goes down. She was counting down the days till this ends and maybe she could tell him the news.


	17. Chapter 17

 

**Haymitch**

The plan went in place two days ago. For the past few days he hadn't had time to visit Effie at all, not that she would be in her room anyway. She had been wandering around in her wheelchair since she was allowed to. What he didn’t foresee was seeing her in the Command room when he stepped in this morning; standing beside Beetee in all her gloriousness. She looked better than she first came in. She had put on some weight even though her clothes still hung off her small frame.

"What are you doing here?" He asked as he approached them.

"The doctor said I was off bedrest this morning. So I thought I could finally come in and see how everything is going." She said with one hand on her hip.

The room was a mess. They hadn't left the room except for short breaks since they started the last phase of the plan. He has been wearing the same outfit for two days. But it wasn’t comparable to those who were on the ground risking their lives for their cause. They spent every minute they had scanning the ground as they gave out instructions to those who were navigating through the battlefield.

He tiptoed around her the whole day. Watching her quietly from the corner of his eye throughout the day making sure she was fine. He wouldn’t admit it but it felt nice to have her around the table when they made decisions. She brought on a new perspective that was entirely Effie. The way she studied every inch of their plan, how she is so engrossed with the camera feeds and countered ideas during meetings, it was entrancing. It was another side of her he never seen before. Sure they worked together for many years but this was different. Beneath the escort mask and the fragile woman that came in through the hospital doors a little more than a week ago, was a resilient and intelligent woman he never knew. For the first time, he really felt that they were on the same side and they were fighting this war together.

* * *

The next few days were no different as they were still stuck in the room. Effie was discharged and she practically moved into the room with them. They slept when they can where they can, same goes for meals and breaks. Conversations were still sparse as everyone was focused on the rebellion. All they had were moments where their hands grazed each other, a short glance towards each other or when she brought him water and food. They were growing closer, but she still flinch sometimes when he touched her, leaving him puzzled but he attributed it to her wounds still feeling tender.

Her cheeks had filled out a little more. There were bags under her eyes from the lack of sleep, he was sure everyone in the room had the same. Her short hair which she had cut herself somewhere between two breaks, because there was almost no way of telling the days anymore, actually suited her. Her hair was now no longer than her collarbone. He didn’t realise he was watching her sleep again until Beetee called out for him which inadvertently woke Effie up too.

The lost contact with Katniss's squad. The next hour consisted of Beetee attempting to re-establish connection with no avail and both of them trying their best to help. Their only consolation is that the soldiers' trackers were still working and it showed that they are still on the move which meant that at least the soldiers were alive and with them hopefully Katniss and the others. Considering their current position, it shouldn’t be long now. He hoped.

* * *

Effie continued to busy herself with even the smallest of things for the next few hours. He could tell she was worried about the squad. It was almost to his own surprise that he caught her arm out of reflex as she walked past him for the umpteenth time and pulled her down to sit on the chair opposite him.

"Stop pacing around. It's annoying everyone."

"I can't… I can't stop." She whispered.

"I know." He said as he went on to interlace their fingers. "Just sit down and breathe."

Breathe she did. As her breathing mimicked his own, tears welled up in her eyes and spilled over onto her cheeks. And without second thoughts, he pulled her closer and she rested her head on his shoulder, feeling her warm breath against his body and her tears wetting his shirt. He was too tired to think and he was letting his body make all his decisions. It was no doubt an awkward position, with her half off her seat. And so he nudged her off her chair and onto his lap. I am too old for this. He thought. But it didn’t feel half bad. She was lighter than he thought. It took a little shuffling but eventually they settled into a comfortable position with her half hugging him and her legs dangling off one side of his seat.

He knew his legs would probably go numb in a while. But in this moment, he was still going to let his body make the decisions and numb legs were worth it.


	18. Chapter 18

**Effie**

_You lose track of time when you spend most of your time in the same room with the same people looking at the same screens 24/7. There is no taking a break from this. People's lives depend on you staying awake looking at those screens, making decisions and plotting strategies. Rest, food and water become secondary to the cause you are fighting for._

_Every day you pray that it would be the last, not because of the tiredness that is coursing through your veins, but because every day you see the lives lost fighting for the freedom that the country deserves. Sometimes you question whether if it is worth it, the people you've lost through these years, the people who are putting their lives on the line right now. Then you think about how far you've come, from a merely five-member group to what it is today. A rebellion with thousands of people fighting for the same cause along with you because it is important to them, to you and to everyone's future. Everyone has a role to play and if those people on the ground can sacrifice themselves, you can stay in this claustrophobic room and look at those screens and discuss strategies to end this war. So that maybe there wouldn't be lives lost tomorrow and you can win this._

She leaned against the sink as she checked her reflection on the mirror again. Her face flushed with droplets of water still dripping from her chin. This isn't the time to fall sick but she could feel it coming. She was slowly burning up, her throat slightly sore and her head was pounding. Wiping her face with her sleeve, she took one last look at the mirror and stepped out. The dizziness hit her almost immediately. Steadying herself with the doorframe, she made her way to her seat once again. _Push through._ She rested her head on her hand as she listened in on the discussion.

* * *

 

It was almost another hour later when she was seeing spots dancing in front of her eyes that she decided to head to the hospital. The situation was more or less stable outside, they could do with her away from a while. Besides, everyone was too engrossed in their own work to notice that she left the room. It took a while for her to find her orientation but eventually she got there.

She must have looked awful because a nurse immediately approached her when she stepped in. The next few minutes involved her getting shoved into an examination room, being asked a series of questions and examined by a doctor before being ushered out into the waiting area. There were more nurses than patients now with almost half the district in the field, there were only three other people in the waiting room. An elderly with persistent coughing, a little boy with a cast on his arm and a lady whom he presumes to be the boy's mother. It didn’t take long for the same nurse to come walking towards her with a bag in her hand.

"You are running a mild fever which is caused by a throat infection, nothing serious. Here are your prescriptions, antibiotics for your fever and anti-inflammatory for your throat. Okay, so the antibiotics should be taken thrice a day after every meal, finish the whole cycle. The anti-inflammatory, twice a day until your throat heals… " The nurse explained. Her mind trailing off as her eyes travelled to the little boy with the broken arm again.

"Are these medications safe? I mean in my…. Um… condition?" She asked stuttering a little, cutting off the nurse before she could finish.

The nurse looked perplexed before realising what she meant. "Oh yeah, Doctor Wyatt read your history. He prescribed you with some vitamins too. The vitamins are the same with the antibiotics except that you should get a refill after you finish. Remember to drink plenty of water and get enough rest, that will help with the headache. If you still feel unwell after this round of medication, do come back here." She smiled as she finished.

Effie didn’t get much hospitality around here. Even though people knew she has been one of them since the beginning, her image as an Escort is a difficult one to shake. It wasn’t easy for people to accept her presence in the district despite her allegiance. It was a slow process, but that smile proved that it was progressing nonetheless. She returned the gesture with one of her own, thanked the nurse and made her way to her room. These meds shouldn’t be seen by anyone back in Command.

* * *

 

Back in her room, she set the bag on the cabinet before grabbing her bottle of water and downing her pills. _Did the nurse say to have them after meals?_ She wasn’t sure. Her head was killing her, the thought of food repelled her and there was no time for food anyways. Perhaps she should lay down for a bit before heading back. Fifteen minutes.

She plopped herself down on her bunk bed that didn’t have much cushion. It wasn’t comfortable but much better than the hard chair in the Command room. Grabbing the pillow, she shuffled for a while before she settled with what her grandfather always said her 'prawn' position. She missed him. _So very much._ She wished he could be here with her like he always did when she was younger. Stroking her hair, feeding her porridge, changing the washcloth on her forehead, taking care of her whenever she was sick. He should be here to see how far they have come. To see her now. The memory of his voice was fading, how he smelt, his face, the way he scolded her sometimes, the way he hugged her after reprimanding her. All that was left were bit and pieces. Little pieces of him, she was trying her very best to hold on to.   _He should be here._

She didn’t even realise she was crying until she was sobbing uncontrollably. Hugging the pillow, she wrapped her arms around herself, pausing when she felt the little bulge in her middle. Genetics, her non-existent diet and oversized uniform has done a great job at hiding her bump. At nearing six months, though she was just only starting to show, soon it would be impossible to hide _. Particularly from Haymitch_. They were growing closer. And even though he might not admit it but he enjoys physical contact. A little touch here and there, lending her his shoulder when she wanted a nap, having his hand on her thigh when they had meetings. Avoiding him would be difficult. She enjoyed being around him too. Physical contact was hard to come by when you live alone in the basement of an abandoned house or locked up in a cell. _Unless you count the torture._

She looked over at the clock. Okay three more minutes before getting up. It was then when her communicator started flashing.


	19. Chapter 19

**Haymitch**

It felt wrong leaving her behind again. She insisted on coming after hearing what happened with Katniss but she was looking worse for wear and they needed to make sure that the situation in Capitol was stable before sending everyone over. It took a little persuading but eventually she stayed with Beetee to help coordinate the transition of those who were still in Thirteen. It was a short goodbye. A short peck on his cheek and neither made promises that they will meet again because they both knew there were no guarantees even if they have won.

The ride to the Capitol was long and quiet. They have won. After so many years of dictatorship, they finally got their freedom but at what price? The loss of so many innocents and the loss of their homes. And who was to say that the woman who was standing not far away from him wasn’t the same as the man whom they just took down. He sat there listening to the soft whispers of the couple standing in front of the desk which were muffled by the hum of the engine. They were planning their next steps, and he knew he should be there joining the meeting but right now he too was planning his next step.

* * *

After fiddling with the corner of his shirt one last time, he forced himself up and shuffled over to the space beside Plutarch. Because the first step to planning what he should do next, is to learn about what they were going to do next. Both of them acknowledged him with a nod but continued with talking in their own bubble. Studying the screen on the desk, he tried to listen in to the conversation and catch up with the discussion. 

"It would be for the best." Coin said.

"With the current situation, I fear that it would do more harm than good." Plutarch replied.

"Surely you are not feeling sympathy for the Capitols. Do I need to remind you which side you are on?" Her eyes darkening ever so slightly, just enough to put anyone who was looking at her on edge.

"Of course not, but- We should discuss it with everyone."

Haymitch quietly listened trying to pick up what they were trying to do but nothing seems to be making sense. So he finally asked, "What is it?"

"I am proposing a final Hunger Games for the citizens of the Capitol who are found guilty after the trails." She said it with a coldness and resolve in her eyes which sent chills down his spine.

"I thought that was what we were fighting to end." He returned her conviction with one of his own.

"It seems only fair that they get a taste of their own medicine." Her arms kept folded across her chest, her eyes focused on his, almost challenging.

"Shouldn’t this be tabled till we discuss it with everyone? This war was to restore democracy in this country wasn’t it?" He taunted.

"Okay. Let's table this and put it to a vote." Plutarch offered.

"We shouldn’t even be talking about this." Haymitch countered. "We fought so damn hard to end this. How are we any different from them if we hold another Games to punish the Capitols? How are we going to show the country that the new government will be different from Snow?"

"Soldier, get who you are talking to."

"Okay. I think it is best we stop this conversation here and put this to a vote when we settle in the Capitol. There are other things we need to discuss now." Plutarch said, putting a hand on Haymitch's chest urging him to go back to his seat.

* * *

The rest of the trip consisted of him lost in his own thoughts while catching glimpses of Coin throwing glances over at him. If she was trying to be subtle, she wasn’t. There was no point aggravating her. The only thing he can do at this point was to outsmart her. This country doesn’t need another self-declared President in the ruling. And that was no doubt what Coin is going to do when they reach the Capitol. And people will listen because why not? She "led" the rebellion. She was who people trusted, looked up to and made the Rebellion possible.

He was grateful for everything Thirteen and Coin had helped the Rebellion to achieve but they have fought too hard for history to repeat itself again. People needed to see what she really embodied but in times like this, it was almost impossible. He felt as the hovercraft made its descent into the Capitol as the pilot announced their landing. And this concluded their trip.

But their fight for freedom was not.


	20. Chapter 20

**Effie**

They sent everyone packing once they received the message from the Capitol. They would be sending the first batch of Thirteen residents over tomorrow. There weren't many people in the corridors, everyone seemed to be packing or celebrating in the cafeteria. Excited to see the world above ground again. Something shifted ever so slightly. No one seemed to care about the former escort walking through their district anymore. Maybe they finally realised that she was one of them. Maybe she wasn’t a threat anymore now that they were in power. Maybe they just got used to having her around. There still a few stares here and there but it wasn’t that often anymore. Maybe it is just because not many were crossing paths with her as they were occupied with the celebrations.

It took a little more than a day for them to declare the downfall of Snow's regime. Something happened before they took over but no one was saying anything, even Beetee. She could see it in his eyes, he was keeping something from her. She figured she would know once she reached the Capitol and see for herself or simply question Haymitch. She stood by her bed taking a glance through her bunk. There wasn’t anything here that was hers. Her stuff were left behind in her grandfather's underground hideout. She had nothing with her when she was captured and then rescued by Thirteen. All she had here were her uniforms provided by the district and nothing else. _What was there to pack apart from her extra set of uniform and her medication?_

She grabbed her small duffle as she made her way out of her bunk and headed towards Haymitch's. He must have left some stuff behind since they left on such short notice. She quietly slipped into his room after making sure that no one was in. His living quarters were as bare as hers. A few pieces of clothing left here and there. She picked up a jumper and a jacket before leaving the room.

* * *

She sat on her bed counting the minutes till the time of departure. 6 more hours. She could catch up on some sleep before the flight. Her throat was recovering and the doctor did say to get plenty of rest. With the entire country in war, rest didn’t come often. She might as well sleep since she had no more packing to do. She slipped on Haymitch's jumper before lying down on the hard mattress.

It was almost like she grew overnight. Or maybe she didn’t have time to notice her growing form with everything that had been going on. But she was almost certain that her protruding midsection was not that visible two days ago. Her clothes did a fairly good job at hiding her bump, but as she laid down with the help of gravity, the jumper hugged her middle and it was impossible to deceive anyone.

* * *

The ride to the Capitol was uneventful. She sat alone by the cockpit watching everyone else. Most of them onboard this hovercraft were soldiers. A few chatting away, some deep in thought and others busying themselves with their gear. Beetee sat opposite her with his eyes closed. Napping perhaps, or maybe visualising his next project, he does that sometimes. She placed her hand on her bump when she thought no one was watching. Her uniform barely concealing it. A little bigger and it would be glaring to anyone who was looking.

The little turbulence had her grabbing her seat. She looked up to see most people unfazed by what just happened as she locked eyes with Beetee. His gaze moving down to her hand and back up. He gave an assuring nod as he closed his eyes again. It was almost as if he knew the whole time. _Perhaps it was obvious to everyone except for her who was in denial the whole time?_ This man of a few words has always been a little mystery to her. The way he observes, his knuckles against his lips as he is deep in thought, seemingly void of emotions. He was always focused on his work, they rarely shared conversations which were not related to the war. It makes her wonder about his story sometimes. The man behind the genius creations. They have gone through so much that she would consider him a friend. She wonders if he does too.

* * *

The gush of outside air flooded the hovercraft. It was bright outside. She was eager to welcome the fresh air and natural light but she patiently waited for everyone to alight before following behind. With her duffle in one hand, she made her way to the exit. Stepping off and embracing the life above ground, she took a deep breath, feeling the air entering her lungs. You never know how precious some things are before you lose it.

"Congratulations." A deep voice beside her said. She turned instinctively to see Beetee beside her. This was the first time someone congratulated her regarding her pregnancy. She didn’t know how to react other than looking at him in awe and stuttering a short thank you. They exchanged a small smile before making their way into the presidential mansion.

_Perhaps he does._ She thought.


	21. Chapter 21

**Haymitch**

Everyone was assigned a room in the president mansion after they arrived. Things fell into place and people assumed positions. "Interim President" that was what Coin called herself when they had their first meeting after taking over the Capitol. He didn’t like the sound of it at all but with current circumstances he would just flow with it. For now, it was best to comply since she was the figurehead of the rebellion. They just finished with another round of meeting when he heard that the first hovercraft from Thirteen had landed. He thought of going to find Effie first but Katniss was in a really bad shape and he hadn't had the chance to visit her since she was admitted into the temporary hospital set up in the north wing of the mansion. 

She was concussed and had third degree burns over a third of her body. They placed her in a medically induced coma to help speed up her healing process. He saw her through the window in her room. Her entire body wrapped in a layer of pressure dressing and her hair cut short because of the burns. The doctors said that due to the large areas of burnt skin, medication could only do that much, the rest was up to how fast her body heals itself.

* * *

 

He stayed with her for almost a half hour before heading back to his assigned room. Settling down by the window which overlooked the front yard of the mansion, he reached into his pocket for his flask. A habit of his whenever he needed to take things off his mind, over twenty years of drinking, this habit wasn’t an easy one to shake. Though now alcohol had been replaced with just water. He put back the cap on the flask and set it down by the window frame. He could see a light layer of dust over the glass window, giving the world outside an eerie shade of grey.

He watched the snow fell from the sky. First snow came the night before. He knew because he couldn’t sleep so he found himself in the same position as now, watching the world by the window. It dusted the city before him with specks of white, which reminded him of icing sugar on cake. A mesmerizing sight indeed. Over a few days, the entire city was covered in a thick layer of snow.

The snow covered the grey of yesterday. What transpired in the yard before him just a few days ago was erased without a trace, buried beneath the fresh coat of white. How strangely befitting. He thought to himself. Because he knew under the white snow was a land of red and grey.

The smell of smoke seemed to have dissipated through his days here. _Or has it?_ Maybe he just got used to the smell. He couldn’t tell.

* * *

That night he found himself restless again. But this time he decided to venture out of his room. Wandering the halls unseen at night wasn’t an easy feat even when most people were in their own rooms, there were guards patrolling at regular intervals. He retraced his steps to the best of his memories which brought him to the door that lead to the rooftop. Pulling his coat around himself tighter, he slipped through the door. Three flights of stairs later, he was met with another door. With a push, a gush of cold air assaulted him in the face. He welcomed the refreshing air outside with both arms even though it stung his lungs. He let out a few puffs to let his lungs get used to the cold weather.

Being trapped within the four walls of the mansion was suffocating. There was something about the entire place that didn’t sit well with him. The sight of hidden rose symbols scattered throughout the building. From the wallpaper and furniture to the silverware he ate off. And the nagging thought that even with the downfall of Snow, freedom was still not within reach. It was like a posh prison and he just needed to get out. He stuck his hands in his pockets as he trudged his way through the snow to the edge of the roof and found a bald spot where he sat down. He grabbed a handful of snow and made a snowball. Tossing it between his hands a few times, he looked across to where Snow was held and launched his snowball towards it, albeit it didn’t go very far. He watched as the snowball fell six stories down and hit the ground.

He made a few more snowballs but decided against throwing them in the end because it might draw attention from the guards. He pulled his beanie over his ears, crossed his legs and settled in a more comfortable position. The city which was once so bright was left in ruins. Destruction caused by not only the rebels but the Capitols as well in their attempts to keep the rebels out. The layer of white concealed most parts of the damage but he knew beyond what was visible to him in the darkness of the night were everything and everyone who were lost in this war.

What he failed to see was the little figure wrapped up in a few layers of clothes huddled by the end of the stairs at the entrance of the mansion. She heard the snowball hit the ground. Puzzled, she scanned the area where the snowball could have come from. Letting her gaze wander a little higher, she spotted a shadow on the roof.


	22. Chapter 22

** Effie **

Her first day in the mansion consisted of being shoved around the whole day until finally assigned a room on the second floor. It was dark out by the time she settled in the room. She thought of heading out to find Haymitch or the children but she hadn't had any idea where they were so she decided to wait for her meeting the next morning.

 

The navy bedsheet with gold lining was so soft to her touch. The room was massive as compared to her bunk in Thirteen; it could easily fit another queen sized bed next to the one she was sitting on. She had been in the president mansion a few times but never in these rooms. It wasn’t unlike the rest of the place actually. The extravagant and excessive décor, precious gems adorned every corner and technology which allows you to control every aspect of the room without lifting a finger. Imagine how many people would be freed of poverty if the money went into building this place went to them. _The President Mansion the epitome of the Capitol's disgustingly exorbitant and lazy lifestyle. And for years she was part of it._ She thought.

 

Her head was killing her. Might have something to do with the scent of this place. She never boded will with perfumes. She turned the setting off on the tablet by the bed but it would take a while for the scent to dissipate from the room. She watched as snow fell outside the window, coating everything white before deciding that she wanted to take a hot bath.

 

She turned on the settings for her bath before undressing and went on to look at the array of cleansing products in the drawers. She picked a few she wanted to use and set it by the bathtub and slowly stepped into the water. The temperature was just right as she lowered herself till the water was slightly above her breasts. _Oh how much she have missed this._ She rested her head against the edge of the tub and closer her eyes as she felt the throbbing in her head subside slightly.

* * *

It was slightly over a half hour later when she finally stepped out of the bathroom. The bath did help with her headache but it was still there just as the sickly sweet scent of the room. Decidedly, she grabbed a coat from the wardrobe and headed out.

 

It was still snowing as she stepped out into the cold snowy night. She wrapped her coat tighter around herself as a gust of wind blew in her face. She instantly regretted not wearing more layers. But the fresh air outside felt so much better. She hid behind a pillar by the corridor to shield herself from the unforgiving icy wind. She looked out to the city before her. The city she once lived in was left in ruins shy from a few buildings. She couldn’t see much from the angle and the snow but the horizon was not obscured by many tall buildings anymore. She could see the sky. She recalled being here a few years ago for a party. She stood on one of the balconies sipping a cocktail, looking over the city and all she could see were buildings upon buildings. She remembered looking up to see a sky full of stars much like the view she had now.

 

She was admiring the view when she saw a flash of white by the corner of her eye. Her first instinct was to hide but then she heard a thud. Something fell on the yard in front of her. Her eyes searched the yard but found nothing. She was so sure something did fall. But there was no trace of it anywhere unless… _it was snow?_ Someone threw a snowball from somewhere in the mansion. Who would do that in the middle of the night? She looked across the balconies and windows to see none occupied or open. But before she gave up, she spotted a small shadow on the roof. Even in the night, from that distance, she would recognise that shadow with that beanie in a heartbeat.

 

She thought heading up to find him but she still needed to figure out how a particular conversation should occur so she stared at him for a little while longer before retreating to her room.

* * *

She practically launched herself at him when he saw him walk through the door. She had been sitting at the table alone since she was early to the meeting. She thought of trying to find her way around the massive mansion but she didn’t want to get lost and be late for the meeting. So after her lunch with fifteen minutes to spare, she found herself in the meeting room alone. She was deep in her own thoughts when she heard the door open. She turned to greet the newcomer when he called her name first.

 

"Oh my god, I've missed you." She said as she stepped back and took in the sight of him.

 

"Me too." He said with a smile.

 

"How are you feeling? Your arm…" Her brow furrowed as she touched the bandage around his left shoulder.

 

"I am fine. Just a few bruises. Nothing serious." Finnick replied, giving her arm a squeeze with his good hand.

 

"I haven't had time to visit the hospital yet. How are the others?" She asked worriedly as he led them to the sofa at the back of the room.

 

Finnick filled her in with everyone's condition and she did the same with hers. She had her head on his shoulder and his arm around her while they spoke. It wasn’t long when the next member of the meeting joined the room. They both looked up to see Haymitch by the door.


	23. Chapter 23

**Haymitch**

He saw her the moment he stepped into the room and her eyes met his. A wave of whatever washed over him as his eyes fell on the two on the sofa. Finnick looked the same as he last saw him at the hospital, his arm wrapped up in bandages, nothing too serious, he will live. Effie, well he hadn't seen her since Thirteen and that was how long ago? She was wearing one of his jumpers which looked far too big for her, her head resting on Finnick's good arm, his arm around her and his hand softly stroking her hair. In that moment, perhaps it was the exhaustion _mentally and physically,_ he felt a tinge of possessiveness? Not that he wasn’t aware of how in love that boy was with Annie and Effie's feelings for him even though he has been denying his for her.

In the midst of him dealing with his internal assault of feelings, the other two moved themselves to the meeting table. No words passed between them, a slight awkwardness settling between the three. _What should he say? How should he react to seeing her again?_ A few days apart and he was emotionally stunted again. His choice of sitting one seat away from the duo didn’t make the situation any better. Fortunately for them, it wasn’t long before people started filling up the room and the meeting started.

* * *

He busied himself with things for the next few hours, trying his best to avoid him and her doing almost the same. He avoided visiting the kids because he thought she would be there, he made sure she wasn’t in the room before having lunch and spent his day watching different people work. The strange and absolutely unnecessary avoidance and awkwardness plagued them for almost the entire day. _Why was he avoiding her? Why were they avoiding each other? Where did this awkwardness come from? It wasn’t just him and his little episode from earlier because it seems that she was avoiding him too._

It was early in the night when he returned to his room that day. He planned on having a long bath and turning in early. He never quite got into baths but he figured he could try one tonight and because there was a scent setting for the bath here which reminded him of Effie. He had his night all planned out, the bath, the plans to deal with Coin and how to face Effie tomorrow. But what he hadn't plan on was having Effie sitting on his bed when he entered his room that night.

* * *

Her hair down, still wearing his jumper as she sat cross-legged on his bed seemingly lost in her thoughts which he interrupted when he came in. Her soft gaze fell onto him for the second time today. But this time she spoke. "Hi."

"Hey." His reply falling flatter than he thought though he was glad that she came because they knew if it was up to him to make the first move, it would take far longer than the both of them would like. He took a step closer before stopping, suddenly unsure of what to do or say next.

"Sorry," she quickly said before uncrossing her legs and standing up.

"How was your day?" He asked as he took off his beanie and scarf which he had on. _People ask that when they have no idea what to say right? He thought._

"I… I went to visit the kids," she retorted.

The room once again plunged into silence as he tossed the beanie and scarf onto his bed and headed for the pile of clothes left on the table by the window. He picked up a few which he felt were clean _enough_ before turning to face her again.

"We need to talk." She said as she closed the distance between them.

"I was just going to have a bath," he offered as he waved his clothes. "Care to join?" he added, trying to act his usual self.

"But you don’t like baths." Her brows furrowed slightly as the serious tone in her voice dissipated.

"I figured I need one tonight."

"Haymitch," she whispered as she reached out for his free hand. Her slim fingers closing around his palm as she stepped even closer to embrace him. His arms instinctively closed around her, her head on his chest. It took a few moments before he felt it - something pressing against his middle. _Was she holding something between them?_ He let his hand trail down to her waist. He stilled as he felt the bump between them which wasn’t there before. His first thought flew to Finnick because that wasn’t all that ridiculous. _Maybe that would explain this morning. Had he been that oblivious? It couldn’t be, could it? Of course not. But how?_

A million thoughts flashed cross his mind. He pulled away to see her face as she loosened her grip on his hand. Her eyes fixed on his chest. He let his fall on his hand still on her side. His oversized jumper concealed it perfectly though it was unmistakably there. His fingers stroked the fabric as his mind processed the revelation. "It is not Finnick's is it?" In all absurdness, he asked.

"What?!" She blurted, more than surprised at his question.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! I hope you enjoy it! I have another multi-chapter coming up so stay tuned for that too! x

**Effie**

Of all the scenarios she played out in her head before telling him the news, this was definitely not one of them. The joke seemingly took both of them by surprise. _If anyone could see their expressions right now._ She did prepare a long speech she didn’t think she would use because she assumed he would bolt the second she told him. She definitely did not expect the question, or him still standing in front of her.

"Of course not." She looked up carefully studying his face, trying to decipher what was on his mind. After a few moments of silence, she spoke, deciding to put her speech to good use. Her hand found his which was on her waist and brought it between them.

She took a deep breath, looked into his eyes and said, "I am sorry I didn’t tell you sooner." She paused waiting for a reaction or reply, when she got neither, she continued. "I have been meaning to tell you but I just… I just didn’t know how to. I know I can't hide it any longer so here I am, telling you. I know you never wanted kids. And I am sorry this happened. It is okay if you want nothing to do with her. But I thought you should know because she is yours too. I didn’t want you to find out any other way." It was a long speech, and she was too nervous to even pause.

"I want you to know that whatever you decide, I am keeping her." She took a deep breath after finally finishing.

"I need time to think." was all he said.

With that, she left the room.

* * *

It felt like a large burden was off her chest after she told him. There was no need to hide anymore. She stopped wearing oversized tops to conceal her bump, the only person she wanted to hide it from already knew. With her new body, came the whispers. But it wasn’t anything she wasn’t used to. The only people who mattered were the kids and Haymitch. And well, he still hasn’t spoken to her yet since she told him about her pregnancy three days ago. At least they weren't avoiding each other. There were stolen glances here and there but still no interaction. She thought maybe that was his answer.

She wasn’t surprised, just disappointed. She knew she could do it even if she was alone. But deep down it hurts to think that he didn’t reciprocate her feelings.

* * *

 

**Haymitch**

Finnick had been pestering him since he knew that Haymitch knew. Not that he wasn’t drowned in his own thoughts already. It was stupid because the answer was so obvious. Of course he wouldn’t just leave them. She held a very special place in his heart even if it was hard for him to admit it. But it was more complicated than that wasn’t it? The fear of losing them, not being good enough, hurting them… The list goes on and on and on.

He was hiding in Peeta's ward that afternoon so he wouldn’t get ambushed by Finnick again. The boy was awake, doodling on his notepad. They both sat in silence before he blurted, "Effie's pregnant."

"I know."

 He kept quiet, not quite knowing what to say next.

"What are you going to do?"

"I don’t know." He murmured, rubbing a hand across his face. _He did not just ambush himself._ Why did he even bring it up?

"It is simple, isn't it?" The boy said without looking up from his drawing.

He didn’t reply.

"She loves you. You love her."

Still he remained mum, because every person he ever loved died.

"We don’t leave the people we love behind."

* * *

It was late when he found himself in front of her door. He knocked twice. With no answer, he mentally chided himself for having such a stupid idea before turning to leave. He was almost at the stairs when the door opened, and her little head peeked out. She invited him in.

Her hair was wet, she probably just had a shower. He could smell her familiar scent radiating off her body. It was comforting. They stood by the door as she looked at him earnestly, waiting for him to speak.

"I am sorry." He said.

"It's okay, I understand." She whispered, her eyes welling up as she quickly blinked them away.

"No." He paused. "I am sorry it took me so long to give you a reply."

He didn’t know what came over him because the next moment his lips were on hers. For the first time since he was a teenager, he belonged.


End file.
